Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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