I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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