i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
