No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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