Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
