we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
