I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
