She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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