I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
