yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
