This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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