WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
