Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
