girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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