yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
