Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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