fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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