if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
