i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
