i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Randomize
