It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just invented taco cereal.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
