Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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