Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
