i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
