Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
