'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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