hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
