Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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