we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
