Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
