I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
