Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
