So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
