he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
