You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
