Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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