So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
