Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
