Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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