Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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