I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
