happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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