were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
