5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
