If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
