tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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