Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
