Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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