i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
