The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
