This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
